Pharyngitis

I didnt write for a couple days after the train ride because I got pretty sick and didnt have the strength or the motivation to do anything that requires even a minimum amount of strength. I was mostly in my bed sleeping, or more like attemping to sleep through a long series of neverending chest-popping cough sessions.

The day after we came back, which was the August 25th, Pastor Sarah, who had an infection at the back of her ankle, and I had to stay behind at the mission centre while the team members went out for a packed day of village minstries. Throughout the entire night before, I have been literally battling against myself on my bunk bed, not being able to move, not being able to sleep, not being able to think about anything except how much I missed home and my loved ones. I was cold, but I was sweating, and it was such a horrible feeling not being able to sleep even though I was exhausted. But as I was facing the ceiling, the only person I could talk to was God. I don't even remember what I said or how I prayed, but I just remember it was a series of very long conversations that kept me company throughout a very long night. I remember feeling thankful at one point to be so helpless, sick, vulnerable and lonely right in front of God, and almost enjoyed that feeling of having no choice but to be dependent on God.

I woke up around one or two in the following afternoon when Sarah came to check up on me. I was feeling slightly better as I woke up, so we went up to the guys room (cause it was so breezy and nice) and hung out on their beds until Pastor Chun came. We took pictures of my swollen lips and Sarah's infected scar with Pastor James' blackberry and set it as our ID pictures and giggled to ourselves imagining his reaction when he saw them once we got back to Toronto.

Pastor Chun took us to the hospital near the city. It was a pretty small building, and there were many Indians waiting. As soon as we got there to register, people got out of their ways and moved to other places so that we could sit on chairs, even though we tried to tell them we were fine. And they constantly stared at us.

Sarah had to get an injection so she went into this tiny room with a nurse, but it was taking forever. The nurse kept poking around her wrist because she couldn't find her veins. As for me, the doctor told me I had pharyngitis, and told me I should get better in 3-4 days. He gave me seven different kinds of pills. I think he gave me one for every area I mentioned that was hurting.

Then, Pastor Chun took us to McDonalds. Although I wasn't sure if having McDonalds would be good for my 'pharyngitis', I was really hungry anyway so I ordered McNuggets. Since water and electricity were temporarily shut down at the mission centre and we had some time til the team came back, Pastor Chun invited us to go to his house to visit his wife and the children. Though we couldn't stay for long, we got a chance to talk to them more personally and it was really great seeing them.

I asked Pastor Chun how long he was planning to stay in India. He said that when they initially came to India, they came with a heart to stay for good. And that he would stay as long as Indian government would let him. It really struck me hard when he said that. I love India, and during the short time I had stayed in India, I developed so much love and passion for the people and the country. But I wasn't sure if I could stay in India for too long. I was sick for only a couple days and I was already dearly missing the comfort of my own home. I could live without clean water, my social circle, authentic Korean food, my surroundings, the comfort of speaking my mother tongue, and air I have no trouble breathing in for a couple weeks, or maybe even a couple months. But could I give them up for life? Could I turn away from them, knowing that I might never come back for them again? For some incomprehensible reason, the fact that Pastor Chun came with a determination not to go back to his own country was a shock for me, even though that probably should have been expected. Once again, I got a chance to ponder upon what it really means to live for Christ.

Pastor Chun was living for Christ, by making Christ his home.

Is Christ my home?